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Location: PDX, United States

Sunday, October 23, 2005

I Giveth and I Taketh Away

In order to make room for my beautiful new rocking chair, I had to get rid of my old one. I was afraid to put it back behind my building because of the sign about a thousand dollar fine for leaving furniture.

I came up with a plan. I was going out that night with A., and I figured by the time we got back from dinner, it would be dark and we would have had enough wine where it wouldn’t seem like a big deal to carry a large rocking chair a block away and leave it on the sidewalk. We brought the chair down around 10, and I felt really generous, like I was giving a special treat to the first person who saw and wanted the chair.

When I went out for coffee on Saturday morning, I noticed the chair was gone. Later that day, I had a shopping date with B. I showed her the new chair, and told her about dropping the old one off down the block. She looked disappointed, and I realized I should have asked people if they wanted a rocking chair before offering it up to strangers. As we left our building and headed out towards her car, B. spotted the chair. Someone had brought it into their front yard and seemed to be using it as porch furniture.

I told B. I had no problem stealing the chair back. I imagined we would wear tight black thief outfits and ski masks and run around to the theme of “Mission Impossible”. I knew this would require a fair amount of drinking. It would have been a smart thing to eat dinner, but I didn’t feel like it.

We started our evening out with cheap beer, switched to red wine, and ended with microbrews. I was deeply regretting the lack of food in my stomach and took off earlier than B. and her husband. I decided to steal back the chair by myself, and to have it waiting for them by the back door of our building by the time they stumbled home.

I woke up today with a huge hangover, and haven’t checked yet to see if B. took the rocking chair back up to her place. I hope so. And I hope the person who had the chair for only a day enjoyed his or her short time with it. I’m sorry I stole it, but I felt like it was mine to take.



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