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Location: PDX, United States

Saturday, March 18, 2006

The Rules

Recently I've been thinking life would be alot easier if some things had rules, and especially if I was the one who got to make all of them up.

I enjoyed St. Patricks day and I hope you did, too. If you're in the kind of shape I'm in, feel free to follow my rules for a hangover.

1. Your hangover is in charge. Let him decide what you need. If you try to fight him, he will win.
2. If you have an indecisive hangover, try these steps:
A Take him out to breakfast
1. taking a shower before you go isn't necessary, but put on some lipstick
2. let your server know you will dining with your hangover. you will need his or her help.
3. achieve the fine balance between hydrating and caffeinating
4. be very specific about what you order- if you need a runny egg, alert your server. that way, if it's dry, and your hangover asks you to send it back, your server won't be angry
5. read a pretty book while eating. my hangover and I read a large print edition of "Julie and Julia" this morning. I think the adapation of blogs to books really lends itself to hangovers, busrides, and other potentionally distracting situations.
B. Go home and take a bath
1. put bubble bath and other fun things in the tub, with the obvious exception of bath oil. why people use bath oil is one of those myseteries I'll never understand. It smells funny and fucks up your hair.
2. bring your book into the tub with you. read until the water starts to cool down.
C. Put on your favorite nightgown, and get in bed with your laptop, book, or cat. or all three. It's a great time to watch classic movies. or Buffy.
D. Contact the nice person who you just met who gave you a ride home last night and thank him for getting you home safely. if you don't do it now, you probably never will.



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